Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Buddha Call

In search of a deity statue for a friend, google image results plastered my screen with hundreds of buddhas in all different shapes and sizes.

"What are you doing?"  A coworker asked.

"I'm searching for Buddha."

"You need Buddha?"

"My friend wants Buddha but she only likes my Buddha.

"I bet everyone likes your Buddha."

"The problem is my Buddha is unique."

"It's not that Sexy Buddha that's usually lying down is it?"  He asked with a smirk.

"It wasn't lying down.  She saw my Buddha in the bedroom and now wants it."

"Isn't that an expensive Buddha?"  Another coworker asked.

"Well, Sexy Buddha is usually Expensive Buddha."

"But her friend likes Tee's Buddha and wants it even though Tee's got a one-of-a-kind Buddha that's apparently quite expensive."

"That's why they call her high-maintenance."

So much for being enlightened.

Monday, July 30, 2012

Not Okay

My niece turned 21 on Sunday and to celebrate, I took her out to for muffins and mimosas and a little lite shopping. Chatting on our way back to the house, I mentioned that I was drawn to visuals and liked to just see things.

To which she excitedly responded, "Oh, I totally know what you mean! I ask for pics from every guy I talk to, and now I literally have a dick library on my phone."