Monday, February 25, 2013

Cheap Accommodations

On the coldest night of the year, my man and I decided to brave the brisk evening for some bar-be-que. Choosing Famous Dave's, we quickly made our way in, hunched over, braced against the cold.

We followed the hostess past two large, mostly empty rooms in to a back area filled with people.  As soon as we crossed the threshold, we were hit with a chill not unlike a meat locker.  As we are seated, I begin to realize that all the patrons in this back area are still jacketed and covered with scarves and hats. We sat.

When the waitress arrived, before putting in an order, I couldn't help but draw attention to the chilly atmosphere.  "Why is it so cold back here?"

"Oh, the heater is broken back here.  But we're working on it and there are space heaters placed throughout. "  She smiled sweetly, got our drink order and disappeared.

D and I exchanged looks.  When she came back with our drinks, I couldn't help but ask - "Why would you be seating people in an area that wasn't heated when the remaining part of the restaurant seems to be open and okay?"

"Oh," she began with a dismissive swipe of her hand.  "That's because the shifts haven't started for those areas up front."

My face went blank. Um...are you telling me, there lil' missy, that because the "assigned waitstaff" hasn't arrived yet, you can't seat people in those areas?  Seriously?  The current staff isn't capable of taking care of those tables in the interim?  I looked around at the bundled up patrons again before glancing back at her.

"I know, doesn't make sense, but the hostesses weren't informed."  She smiled brightly.

"You know, I'm freezing."  I admitted.  "Can you just bring me some hot chocolate?"

I sat on my hands, my jacket pulled tightly against me until she came back with a small steaming cup.  Setting it down, she smiled again at me.  "I spoke with the manager, and because of the situation we'd like to offer you free hot chocolate and as many refills as you like."

As she left, I looked at my man.  "So, what is that actually?  Like thirty-five cents?"

Thursday, February 14, 2013

The OTHER Abe Lincoln

Plopping down on the sofa, I turned to my man and inquired about a movie for the night.  As we perused the list of available options, the cover image of a lanky man with an axe snagged my attention.

"You know, that movie we watched about Abraham Lincoln the other day really was a good movie."  I took a sip of my drink and settled further in to the couch.

"Which one?"  His look was the blank page of no recollection.  Then the light dawned in his eyes.  "Oh, where he got killed?" honey.  The other one.  'Cause that theater malarky is just a myth.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Interpretations of the Bible

I caught a radio show in progress one morning on the way to work that left me so confused and stumped that I literally could not change the radio station.

"...and there will be no pets in heaven.  They are soulless.  But do not worry!  There will be animals!"  ( pets aren't animals?  when did this happen?).  "We will live among the bear, the lion, the beast.  The bible tells us that we will rule these creatures.  They will live in harmony with us.   Amen."

So, while I was trying to reconcile that pets - who love us, are dedicated to us, provide solace and protection have no souls, gruesome cannibals such as the lion and bear will sit alongside us in heaven, meaning they have souls?  How does that work really? - the man continued on another avenue of crazy:

"Another question that is brought up is 'why do I have to work'?  This is a really good question!  Work is hard.  It's disappointing.  In many cases, it's fruitless.  But if we look at the bible, Genesis tells us the reason for this is because work is cursed.  Amen.  But don't lose hope!  Don't lose faith!  For God also tells us that we shall be rewarded in heaven for all this work.  Corinthians explains we shall rule the angels.  That's right - we will rule the angels.  I can live with that, can you?  (laughter in the audience) So, find happiness in your work.  For you will be working for God!  Amen.  You will be working for the King of Kings in heaven!"

So...wait...but won't that still be work?  I thought you just said work was cursed?  If God claims work to be cursed, how can he ask you to be excited about working for him?  Am I missing something?