Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Bubba's Delivers

It was late.  I was late.

My best friend and I were headed down 290 towards Austin.  It was a two and a half hour drive to the bar where I was to interview a local band and I should've left hours before.  I had been so cocky about my promptness, I'd even made arrangements to meet my parents for dinner before the interview.  My father was just this side of irritated when I called him to cancel.

In a serious rush, and fearing I'd actually be late to the interview that I had scheduled, I pushed the pedal to the floor and my bladder to its limits, not wanting to stop for any reason.  I chain-smoked and laughed with Li to keep my mind off my growing need to eliminate.

Around the Elgin area, I could take it no more.  I scanned the dark landscape for any sign of a convenient store.  Glaring lights erupted on the skyline, coming closer as I pushed the white truck as hard as it would go.  As the utopia loomed closer, I realized it was a neat, new, albeit mammoth facility, boasting numerous regular gas tanks, a handful of trucker tanks, and a parking lot that could easily accommodate a rock concert.

 I whipped in, erking to a stop and hopping out, practically unfastening my jeans as I went.  I glanced up, almost as an afterthought.  There in huge, bright red letters for all the country world to see read "Bubba's Gas, Food and Bait".  I paused, my brain trying desperately to catch up.  But only for a moment before my body reminded me of the need to accommodate it as well.  I waved Li on, hurrying through the glass doors.

To say Bubba's was vast would have been a stark understatement.  It was massive.  And brand-spanking new.  Rows of convenience foods and items stretched to our left, and an actual bar flanked our right.  A real bar.  And saddled up to it, were a handful of men straight out of the field.

As we stood stock still, a large bellied man trussed in coveralls reminiscent of a railroad conductor turned and gave us the once-over.

"Um...purty girls..."  He hissed.  As all the men around him turned in our direction, I could practically hear the dueling banjos tuning up.

Gone was the immediate urge to pee, gone was the surprise at the vastness of my surroundings, as I spun in one fluid motion, shoving at my frozen friend's back.  "Go! Go! Go!"  I demanded, shoving her out the door.

Li stumbled towards the truck, stammering with confusion.  "But what about the restroom?"

"Yeah..."  I began as screeched the tires pulling out.  "I'll catch a bush on the side of the road before I become a victim of the new Deliverance."

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