Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Cracks in the Sidewalks

Walking out to run a quick errand, I noticed a young lady sitting on the curb just outside the office.  What caught my eye first and foremost (and my sense for that matter) was the large portion of her ass displayed in the space left bare between her too-small babydoll tee and her too-low, too-tight trashy jeans.  To make matters way, way worse, baby girl was sporting a large, bright purple thong hitched up higher than her waist.  She was not a well put together girl, if you know what I mean, and the bright purple against her skin accentuated not only the plethora of stretch marks about her hips (fully exposed) but also her crack (again, because the undies were sheer, also fully exposed).

As I drove past her trying not to display my best Calvin and Hobbes grossed out face, I wondered: Is it really possible to not know your ass is literally hanging out all over your jeans?  Can you really manage to be so confused as to put your underwear above your waist and your jeans below your pelvic bone?  Does anyone know that this is never attractive, no matter your body type?

I guess I will just be proud that while big hair and acid-wash jeans should never have been allowed, I'm certainly thankful every day that "muffin top", "crack view", and "low-riding" weren't trends in my day.

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